A Note on Relationship Compatibility

Time and again, I overhear people talking about finding their perfect relationship. Almost always, the word “compatibility” comes to the forefront of the conversation. Let me just throw this out here…

You see, people seem to keep mistaking “compatibility” for “similarity”, and that’s simply not the case.
Don’t get me wrong—compatibility is absolutely important in a relationship, but two people don’t have to be the same to be suitable for each other.

It’s no wonder some of us have so much trouble trying to find the perfect mate. We keep searching for that rare specimen who likes all the same things we like, who fits into what we consider our “type”, but the hard truth is that the people we think are perfect for us usually don’t exist, or—if we do happen to find them—they turn out to be completely wrong.

So, what is “compatibility”, exactly?
In a nutshell—it’s acceptance.

To be compatible with another person doesn’t mean you need to enjoy all the same music, or have the same hobbies—it means that you both recognize your differences and allow your contrasting interests to help you grow as individuals. It’s feeling comfortable enough in your relationship to admit that you don’t want to go see a basketball game, but it’s perfectly fine for your partner to go without you…and mean it. You really like Chinese food, but your partner prefers Italian—be willing to take turns choosing what to order in on movie night.

We appear to have reached a state of self-gratification in our society, where everyone else needs to bend to our will, to do what we want them to do, but it’s a perspective that is detrimental to those still searching for their soul mates. Alternatively, we shouldn’t have to pretend to be something other than what we naturally are to gain attraction. The key is to be yourself, but remain open-minded and accommodating to the idea of introducing new possibilities into your life. Stop looking for the person who is just like you—your perfect mate might just be the one you overlooked.

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